Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Five Things That Zippchik Hates

This entry was inspired by recent posts by Deathlok, although I doubt this will be half as entertaining as his were.

5. Grimjack hates Verizon. I hate Time Warner Cable. Several years ago they shuffled our cable line-up. We stopped getting the program guide, the channel that broadcasts what's on and when. So I called customer service, they told me that they had moved it to a new tier and now I'd have to pay more for it. Pay, for the program guide? WTF? But the friendly customer service rep told me it would only cost a dollar more a month than what I was currently paying. So stupidly I agreed. The next month I get my bill, and it had gone up THREE dollars!!! That bi-atch had lied to me!!!! And I love their promotion where you sign up for Road Runner and get the first six months for $29. Then they jack up your monthly rate to $55. If they can give you cable for $29 a month for six months why can't they just give it to you at $29 all the time? Well of course they can, but they're friggin greedy bastards!

4. The New York Yankees. Don't people just get tired of these overpaid arrogant jerks winning all the time? And don't get me started on George Steinbrenner, the Grinch Who Stole Baseball.

3. Fox News. It's not fair. It's not balanced. It's just a mouthpiece for Bush's failed administration. If it weren't for Fox News, Bill O'Reilly would probably be selling used cars in Topeka.

2. SUVs. They're big, ugly, and bad for the environment. They might make their owners feel safer but for those of us who can't fork over better than a year's salary for a vehicle, they are a safety hazard. I've yet to perfect my X-Ray vision so I can't even see around the damn things on the road or in parking lots. SUVs also hog resources. If there's anything positive about these rising gas prices it's fact that the SUV owners are going to pay and pay and pay. Also check out

1. Cancer. Cancer sucks no matter how you look at it. No one wants to get it, but it seems like everyone's lives have been affected by it in some way. If you've been fortunate not to have been diagnosed yourself, chances are you have a relative, friend, neighbor or co-worker who has. Cancer killed both of my parents. So here's where I lead up to my little pitch. This year I will be participating in the Relay for Life. For more information please visit I'm on the Lockheed Martin All Sports Team and if you hate cancer as much as I do please feel free to sponsor me. (BTW, I don't work for Lockheed Martin, I just like the people on that team so I'm helping them out.)

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